I'm At WAR...but its a fixed fight!

My son-in-law said it best...we will not ask God "why?" but we will ask Him "what?"
That was his response when our family was given the news that I have advanced cancer in my body.

It is still surreal.  Even though I've been scanned, and poked in more places and positions than I would ever care to, it still seems as if it is happening to someone else.  I've seen the diagnosis written out.  I've heard doctors in various consultations use words and phrases such as "probable outcome" and "potential treatments."  It was VERY odd walking into a 'cancer treatment center'.....

I don't intend this blog to be one that merely updates my readers on my daily ups and downs as I go through this season.  I do want it to kick the devil in the teeth regularly as I let you know the victories and yes, even joys, that will join me in this battle for LIFE.  Because that is what this is all about.

LIFE, not death.

The word cancer has put fear, dread and hopelessness into so many hearts.  Its been frustrating seeing marketing companies capitalize on it, church bodies actually argue over its cause, families split apart because of panic and who will "be in charge".  Instead of pulling together to fight the ugly disease itself, they point to the negative report, the latest article they read online, or what happened to Uncle Wilbur just before his death.  Visits are somber events, usually ending in a prayer begging God to ease the pain and bring healing 'if its His will'.    SIGH.

My daddy passed away from cancer at age 67 in 1983.  I know what its like to watch someone you love lose weight daily it seemed, go in and out of conciousness, and suffer some days with such pain tears are the only language spoken during your  visit.  But I also saw my father face eternity as a changed man.....finally at peace with himself and His Lord.  He was able to joke and share his deepest emotions for the first time in his life.  At the very end he slipped into his new life completely drug-free and looking upward, with a half-smile on his face.  How I wished Daddy could have received what his Heavenly Father had already offered him at the moment of his salvation some 40 years previously....unconditional love, grace and forgiveness.  I believe he would have approached that demon cancer differently.  I'm so grateful, however that our pastor at that time was able to lead Daddy to the fullness of knowing the Holy Spirit in His fullness in those last few weeks.  He sang in a heavenly language, his entire countenance changed from panic to peace, from dread to joy and even hope.

So I'm not being nieve when I consider the path ahead.  I know there will be days and nights it will be ugly and even scary perhaps.  But this I know: GOD IS SMACK IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.

As my Nano prayed "Lord, we aren't going to ask 'why?' but instead we will ask You 'what'...what do we do to fight this battle with mom until we see complete victory?"   And that is what my family and I are going to do.  I don't like using those flowery words like journey, path, season,....no, this is WAR!  There will be several battles within this war, and I know I will need an army to stand with and for me to see jerkface, brimstonebreath, aka satan, lose his plan to shut the mouths of this clan who has been called to DECLARE THE GLORIOUS WORKS OF THE LORD.  One of my other boys said we'll be asking Him for directives---the strategic plans each step of the way.  For those of you who will be following my blog, you'll be posted on them and hopefully join us as we battle 'not flesh and blood but the principalities and powers' that come against me, physically and mentally.

Which brings me to one more thing I need to put in stone.  90% of this fight will take place in the battlefield of the mind, so I will be surrounding myself with LIFE-giving people, tons of humor (if you know my family at all this will be easy!), healing testimonies, and tons of time spent in worship and the Word, reminding myself and my Lord of His promises to me!

 I don't believe God EVER sends sickness on anyone to 'teach' them something....but He does intend us to grow and learn from the experience (as a teacher I certainly know this---tests show what you KNOW OR NEED TO KNOW, RIGHT?).  He's already been schooling me on "weak".....I've always been the strong one, the 'go-to' and now there are days I have to rely on others to do for me...UH!  SO FOREIGN FOR ME!  But the 'lesson' is more of Him and less of me...so I'm doing just that.  Not easy, but I think I'm getting better at it.  I think.  lol    There will be many more lessons to come I am sure.  And I welcome them as each brings me closer to the One Who loves me most.

So here we go.  I have two verses I've stood on my whole life.....they have never been so precious as now........
"Fear not, there is nothing to fear for I am with you, do not look around in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and harden you to difficulties; Yes I will help you and retain you with my victorious right hand of rightness and justice!"  Isaiah 41:10

"Happy is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill the promises He made to her."  Luke 1:45

This week the old hymn my mom used to sing often while playing her beloved piano keeps ringing in my heart....
"Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His Word
Just to rest upon His promise, just to know 'thus saith the Lord!"
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him, how I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus, Oh for grace to trust Him more!