Sunday, July 26, 2015

It's Gonna Take HOW LONG??

It doesn't happen overnight.

Deterioration is something that takes time.  Usually a good length of it, as a matter of fact.
Neglect or lack of use; not cleaning away abrasive substances that when met with other factors like sunlight or water can cause a destructive reaction.  So it inevitably falls apart.

Restoration...yeah, that doesn't happen overnight either.  To get that 'new again' look, it will require hours, days, even months of hard work.  The right tools, the consistent touch applying just the correct amount of lubricant, paint or polish; researching the object in order to purposely bring back what the creator intended when first seen by public eye.

Whether its a bargain bookcase you scored at a yard sale or Uncle Fred's '56 Chevy no one wanted, restoration is hard work.  It will take commitment, diligence, even sacrifice to see your prize find returned to it's original state.

Now consider a marriage.

Decades of unmet (and unrealistic) expectations, emotional abandonment, repeated infidelity and spiritual abuse had trashed our "happily ever after."  Married at a very young age for all the wrong reasons, my husband and I found ourselves looking at what most would consider a relationship that was beyond restoration.

In 2006, we faced a trial (literally) that could have destroyed not only our relationship, but our family as a whole.  But with the love and support of our children, our pastors and closest friends, we made the choice to stand and we were victorious.  We entered into two years of counseling, many days spent in transparent and painful conversations, nights where all we could do was cry and hold each other....yes, I said two YEARS.

It was then I faced the ultimate test.  What if this restoration work takes another two years? What if my husband doesn't decide to follow the Lord as closely as he could, and he breaks my heart again? What if other life-altering issues happening at the same time (the unexpected loss of employment, the death of our grandchild) are making this restoration work just too difficult, too demanding?

Job of the Bible had lost absolutely everything. Family, all of his personal assets, the respect of his  closest friends, his health, and yes, even his faith.  He came to the point finally where he admitted to the Lord he wished he had never even been born!  He just wanted out of all that pain.  To Job, at this point, his was not a salvageable life....not even God could restore what he had lost.

Then we're told how God begins to share with Job His heart....His perspective.  He tells Job to wipe his boil-scarred face, sit up as straight as he can and then the God Who Sees and Knows All begins to remind His hurting child that He is also The God Who Heals.

We know the end of the story; Job is blessed with not only total restoration of what he lost, but double.  Scripture doesn't tell us how long Job had to wait to see the final piece put in place.  But it does give us insight into how he endured the process.

"I had heard of You only by the hearing of the ear...but now my spiritual eye sees You." Job 42:5

Like Job, I too was ready to give up on life.  I wasn't suicidal, I was just exhausted---more than ready to put away the tool box and let this restoration project go.  Yet as I yielded to His voice during worship one Sunday, I found the strength and the desire to keep the work going.  

As I sang the words to a favorite song, my spiritual eyes were opened, and not only did I hear those amazing words with my ears but I actually could envision my Lord nodding His head in approval! He was cheering me on, telling me He would indeed be there every step of the way!  No matter how many setbacks, unanswered questions or new mountains we faced, our God was going to be there with whatever we would need to see our marriage experience true healing and restoration.

It's been almost nine years now, and our life is not yet perfect.  We still have days where the work leaves us sore and tired for a while.  So we put aside the tools, sit down in a familiar, comfortable spot together and thank God for what He has already accomplished.  We'll listen to the songs that brought our spiritual eyes their sight, and once again find the courage and the energy to keep working with Him.

Whatever stage of restoration you may find yourself in, don't give up!  God can see the finished project, and He will work right alongside until you see it done as well.

No matter how long it takes.

"...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6










Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Lessons Learned From A Blind Guy...Or is he?

I have a dear friend who is a gifted musician, singer, and anointed worship leader.
He is 65 years old, single, and has an incredible sense of humor.

And he is blind.

Although he is greatly independent, he still requires help with everyday tasks, such as getting to a store and finding the correct item.  Try this:  close your eyes the next time you stand in front of the entire section of shampoos and grab the one you desire.  No, not the one that's twice as expensive as your brand.  Not the one that will turn your baby fine hair to strings.  Be careful you don't knock over the 74 other bottles the stocker placed 'just so' on the shelf by the way.  See what I mean?

Or have a seat at a brand new restaurant.  You're handed a menu (out of habit on the part of the server, don't judge her) and you are asked "Have you decided?"  Yes, you could just ask for a burger or eggs and bacon to make your order simple for her.  But what if you really wanted something specific, like the Aloha Turkey Burger special your friend told you about yesterday?  Unless you ask for a braille menu which several places do NOT provide, or unless your friend who drove you there reads you the menu....yep, you're getting eggs and bacon.

How about entering a new building for the first time.  Hmmm, now there's a wall---WHACK!---oh yes, my forehead just told me that, because you see the individual who brought me walked away to greet someone on the other side of the room.  We won't mention the doors that led to closets or heaven help him, stairs!

So....walking a mile in his moccasins (or just an aisle or two at Wal Mart!) can stir up your empathy, compassion and patience to say the least.  Or at least it should.

Mind you, my friend with his sense of humor manages to weather such events regularly, even relieving the guilt and embarrassment of the 'guide' he was relying on.  For example, recently he gave me the distinct impression he was in dire need of the restroom while visiting our townhouse for the first time, so I led him to the hall and said "Door on the left!"  He entered and yelled back, "Mary, where's the light switch?!"  Naturally I ran back to the hall in a panic regretting I hadn't turned on the light first for my blind friend......riiiiiight.  He slammed the door in my face, chuckling behind it.

Still, I know there are days when my friend tires of his state.  And he longs for the ability to see what our beautiful granddaughter truly looks like.  He was there at her birth, singing gently as he rocked her.  Or the beautiful grounds of his current residence....would he be inspired to write an anthem of praise to the Creator if he actually saw His handiwork all around him?  Possibly.

But then, he has already written some beautiful songs that have blessed so many.  They speak of the beauty, the majesty, the compassion of a loving Lord.  As his amazing tenor voice swells with the chords on his keyboard, you hear the words "He is the Mender, He will give you Life!" and all of a sudden that hopeless situation is not so hopeless.

'How can this be?' you ask yourself after hearing a blind man sing with all his heart in complete confidence, that yes, Jesus is a Mender of anything broken. 'How can he do that?!'  

Well you see, my friend has something better than physical sight.  He sees with his heart.

His favorite thing to do is grab your hand and say "How's your heart?"  I love watching the reaction of people when he does that.  Especially if they hurriedly answer "Oh, just fine!" .....and he doesn't let go, sometimes asking again "So, how's your heart?"   They may nervously laugh and drop his hand quickly, puzzled at his insight to their hasty answer.  Or more often I see them sigh heavily, and begin to share what's troubling them.  He loves to just start praying right then and there for them, usually resulting in a thankful hug.

Its even more amazing how he can 'describe' a person after shaking their hand and being in the room for only a moment.  "He's such a gentle soul."  "She's so childlike in her spirit, so giving."  Or at times its not so positive.  "Man, that young woman is scary!  She's so dark, so much anger and ugliness." The latter aptly described to the 't' a gal that was full of hatred of men for the abuse she had endured her whole life, struggling with the occult and her face showed it all, even though her voice was sweet as molasses.  My non- sighted friend was completely unaware of all this, yet he 'saw' it just by holding her hand in greeting for the first time.

I've asked God for that same 'heart vision'.  If I truly want to be His representative on planet earth, don't I want to see others as He does?  The old man is abrasive and rude....or is he defending himself because of the abuse and apathy he's received his whole life?   She can't keep her mouth shut, ever! Or is it a cry for attention which really says "I am NOT invisible!  I'm not worthless!  I have something to contribute to this life!"   Like my friend, I need to grab their hand and say "How's your heart, really?" even if its only in my mind prayerfully to myself.  I want to see them as He does.

Something else my so-called sightless friend has taught me is how to maneuver through unfamiliar territory.  In recent years he learned the fine art of using his stick, which is wielded like a ray gun, taking out your shins should you foolishly get in front of the man.  Unlike the gentle tap-tap-tap of the one you may have seen in the movies used to slowly feel their way down a sidewalk, my confident blind buddy whips his fold-out stick in the fashion of a ninja and takes off with or without you!  The end of the tool appears to have radar as he waves it back and forth, up and down, sensing the boundaries the unseen world puts before him.  He really trusts that stick.

Do we trust God to guide us?  Comparing the Almighty to my friends stick is not the issue here....
What is important is what do we put our trust in when things are unseen, unfamiliar, even frightening?   Are we ready to stand up confidently, follow His gentle but firm leading, knowing we may hit a dip or two, but still walking on to our destiny?

I've noticed too, my friend will slowly lead out with his foot, feeling for the curb or step.  If you are his guide for the moment, he asks you to just hold his elbow and gently pull back or prod forward, not DRIVING OR DRAGGING his whole body around the area!

That reminds me of how the Holy Spirit is so patient with me....He's never pushing me or forcing me one way or another.  He simply taps my spirit, waiting for my cooperation in His guidance and we progress.  That is, IF I choose to let Him lead.  (Sadly, I've paid the consequences of NOT listening to Him and found myself doing a faceplant on the asphalt of life, sigh.)

But truly, I think the greatest lesson my friend has shown me through the years is when you're in the dark....really, really in the dark moments of your life, get in the presence of Jesus and worship.

My friend was married to a wonderful woman named Sandee.  She went home to be with the Lord several years ago now, but I can still see her beautiful blue eyes twinkle, as she'd tell her husband to "sing that song, honey, she needs to hear it."  My broken self would lie on their livingroom couch in a puddle and he would begin to play and sing on his shiny black, perfectly tuned baby grand piano.  Old hymns of faith; songs our choir had sung that brought healing to the people so many times, new worship choruses he had written in the middle of the night....song after song.  As the tears washed my pain away, Sandee would eventually come over to the couch and leaning over me with that big smile, she'd say "All better now?  Jesus is good, isn't He?"

To this day, when life has rendered me to feel hopeless, prayerless, and even tearless, I can lay down on the couch, put on my favorite worship and let Him hold my heart, until it can beat in time with His cadence of Truth again.  Oh, and I can hear my friend sing those words....

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face;
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the Light of His glory and grace....

My friend, Dave Dobler, may be physically blind.  But my, oh my, does he see well.


 "You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right.  Then you can see God in the outside world."  Matthew 5:8 MSG



Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Put On Your Indiana Jones Hat.....

Something is about to change.
I don't know exactly what, or how, or when.
But I know its coming.
Soon.

Change scares most people, and I've never understood why.  To me, change is an adventure! Its the dawn of something new, fresh and exciting!

As a young housewife, I would delight in rearranging my furniture on a regular basis....say every 6 months or so.  Even though my livingroom didn't consist of much decor, just positioning the couch and recliner in different corners and switching out a picture or two from my bedroom would perk up the whole house.  The kids would come home from school and say "Oooo, Mommy, this is so cool!" and joyfully collapse on the carpet, flipping on the tv as if it was their first time seeing it in color.

It was the same for my classrooms.  As an elementary school teacher, I found great satisfaction in changing my room's theme each year.  Apple Ranch, Carnival, Bible days, Farm, you name it, I did it. Posted lettering, borders, and circle time boards, all new!   It was more work than changing around my sparce livingroom, but what a blast I had.

Some changes can be difficult, but time tends to make them tolerable and even rewarding.

A new department assignment within the company which may include more hours and responsibility but a raise as well. Or, a slow smile on the technichian's face, then the sonogram surprise---twins!

And then there's those other changes.  The ones that make getting out of bed in the morning a major effort.  A change that requires all the courage you can muster just to put that smile on your face the world demands.  A change that makes the smallest noise sound like thunder in your ears, your heart pounding out of your chest and your hands sweat.

Like losing the job you've invested your heart and soul into .....then dismissed after 25 years.

Or the decline physically and mentally of an aged mother who has always been such a strong, independent matriarch of the family.

How about an athletic young father who suffers a traumatic brain injury and is now learning to walk, talk and feed himself again?   And lets not forget his wife....talk about a major life change.

The death of a spouse....and they were the ones who handled the finances and spiritual leadership of your home.  Now what?

Change is inevitable.  It's part of all we do.  It's the process of change that makes life, well life.

Since I've grown older, I now can see the benefit of those changes, both the ones I managed well and the ones that took my breath away and left me wishing I was four again!  Since I've made the choice to embrace change, this is what I've learned.

In order to keep moving forward, to experience the new, fresh season God has placed before me, I must leave the past behind.

 It may require personal sacrifice or a time of real grief.  But its the doorway to that "new" my heart has been longing for. "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Another key to embracing change, is to count your blessings and chalk off the losses.

I literally take a sheet of paper, and write down by hand the negatives that occured BEFORE change took place.  Then on the other side of the paper I write the positives, the blessings, and yes, the "this could have happened but it didn't, thank You, Lord!" events BEFORE the life change.  Even if the negatives outweigh the good, if I choose to listen to that still small Voice, He shows me that nothing, I repeat, NOTHING goes unnoticed by Him, and He will use it for my good as His Word says.  "If your Instruction hadn't been my delight, I would have died because of my suffering.  I will never forget Your precepts because through them You have given me life again!" Psalm 119:92 & 93 AMP.

Finally, I do my best to return to my child-like faith in a loving, everfaithful Father.
Admit it, as adults we can often get so weary of setbacks, tired of defending the defeats, etc. that we want to say "FORGET IT.  DON'T WANNA.  STAYING RIGHT HERE.  NO LIFE CHANGE FOR ME, NO THANK YOU!

Then, like a daddy coaxing his toddler out into the big pool for the first time, I feel His strong hands guiding me slowly but surely into the unknown.  I focus on His smile as He encourages me, affirming my every move toward this new thing surrounding me.  And as I relax and begin to follow His commands, I find the pure joy and contentment once again of knowing I'm safe, I'm actually enjoying this, and I'm right where He wanted me to be.  "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plently or in want.  I can do all this (CHANGE!) through Him Who gives me the strength!" Phil. 4:11-13 NIV

So...has life thrown you a curve ball?  Have your circumstances flipped around so drastically that a HUGE change is inevitable for you?  Whatever form it may appear in--- financial, physical, geographical, even spiritual----know this:  when you truly believe that your Heavenly Father has each moment planned for your GOOD, you will find that the change you were dreading, will actually be an incredible adventure.  Imagine that....

YOU,....going on an adventure called Life with the Master Tour Guide. Unlike Dr. Jones, our Hollywood version who found himself lost or facing the unknown, God knows each and every path you've already stumbled on, all those new scary peaks and unwelcome valleys; all those crazy, unexpected detours!

Best of all, He knows what lies ahead of that big change for you ....He's already there.