Angels...On Assignment!

Do you believe in angels? I know I do.

Not the fluffy, rosy-cheeked, porcelain skin angels you see at Christmas or in a collector’s curio cabinet. I’m talking about the angels who are on assignment to serve we humans, here on earth, now.

Like the one who changed my tire. (Yes, I said changed my tire.) Who came out of nowhere, on a white motorcycle, wearing a white helmet, and knew my name even though we never exchanged greetings.

Or the angel who sat with me at the bottom of my Grandpa’s stream, underwater...for several minutes until my brother could retrieve help from our Dad who was fishing nearby.

And then there’s Tumbler.

My son was having night terrors. Not just bad dreams. Terrors beyond the imagination of a child his age. Wide awake, he would scream for me, begging to sleep in his parent’s bed so ‘they would leave him alone.’ At times we would sit up all night watching television together, David snuggled in the blankets between his father and I. The torment my young son experienced was exhausting him and the dreams were increasing in violence and frequency.

“Lord,” I prayed, “send angels to David’s room at night. Show my boy You fight for him!”

A few days later while fixing my son’s breakfast, I casually asked him how his bedtime had been.

“Oh Mom, didn’t I tell you? Tumbler is taking care of it.” He yawned and dug into his cereal.

“Tumbler? What are you talking about?” I asked.

“My angel, Mom. He’s called Tumbler. Know why? When the bad guys come to scare me, he jumps up and he tumbles like this! Then...WHACK! He gets them good, and they take off.” David wipes the milk off his chin and dives in for another spoonful of Nutty-O’s.

Was it a coincidence my son’s bedtime hero was a warrior angel? No. Had he heard his mother’s prayer specifically for God to send someone to fight the evil robbing his sleep? No. It was just the right angel...on assignment.

Many years later, my heart is broken with the reality of the death of our grandson, Jake. Born eight weeks premature on his Papa’s birthday, Jake had fought valiantly for his life. The nurses had often commented on his feisty protests to the wires and tubes that kept him bound to his plastic ‘cell’. Each night, when his mother would be leaving the NICU for home, in pain and exhausted, Jake would raise his tiny head, open his big blue eyes as if to say “Now where do you think you are going!?”

His Papa and I were blessed to be with Jake and his parents when he passed from this life to eternity. His short life had impacted so many lives. His mommy designed his grave marker with boxing gloves, and the wording that read: “Our Baby Boy...Toughest Lil’ Fighter There Ever Was!”

A week later I stand in church raising my hands in surrender during worship. The tears of grief flowing down my cheeks, I sing with the congregation ‘How great is our God, then all will see, how great is our God!’ Suddenly, it was if I was taken back to the scene of Jake’s last moments on earth again.

Except this time, I watch as a being dressed in glistening beige clothes and sandals gently lifts Jake’s lifeless body from his daddy’s arms. He turns and hands him to Jesus, Who puts the now gurgling happy baby on His shoulder and smiles at me. As the Lord leaves, He casts a glance at the being who is smiling as well. It was Tumbler. Just as my son David had described him to me years earlier.

Tumbler and Jake. Both fighters. Coincidence? Not hardly.

Angels. On assignment.

It's Gonna Take HOW LONG??

It doesn't happen overnight.

Deterioration is something that takes time.  Usually a good length of it, as a matter of fact.
Neglect or lack of use; not cleaning away abrasive substances that when met with other factors like sunlight or water can cause a destructive reaction.  So it inevitably falls apart.

Restoration...yeah, that doesn't happen overnight either.  To get that 'new again' look, it will require hours, days, even months of hard work.  The right tools, the consistent touch applying just the correct amount of lubricant, paint or polish; researching the object in order to purposely bring back what the creator intended when first seen by public eye.

Whether its a bargain bookcase you scored at a yard sale or Uncle Fred's '56 Chevy no one wanted, restoration is hard work.  It will take commitment, diligence, even sacrifice to see your prize find returned to it's original state.

Now consider a marriage.

Decades of unmet (and unrealistic) expectations, emotional abandonment, repeated infidelity and spiritual abuse had trashed our "happily ever after."  Married at a very young age for all the wrong reasons, my husband and I found ourselves looking at what most would consider a relationship that was beyond restoration.

In 2006, we faced a trial (literally) that could have destroyed not only our relationship, but our family as a whole.  But with the love and support of our children, our pastors and closest friends, we made the choice to stand and we were victorious.  We entered into two years of counseling, many days spent in transparent and painful conversations, nights where all we could do was cry and hold each other....yes, I said two YEARS.

It was then I faced the ultimate test.  What if this restoration work takes another two years? What if my husband doesn't decide to follow the Lord as closely as he could, and he breaks my heart again? What if other life-altering issues happening at the same time (the unexpected loss of employment, the death of our grandchild) are making this restoration work just too difficult, too demanding?

Job of the Bible had lost absolutely everything. Family, all of his personal assets, the respect of his  closest friends, his health, and yes, even his faith.  He came to the point finally where he admitted to the Lord he wished he had never even been born!  He just wanted out of all that pain.  To Job, at this point, his was not a salvageable life....not even God could restore what he had lost.

Then we're told how God begins to share with Job His heart....His perspective.  He tells Job to wipe his boil-scarred face, sit up as straight as he can and then the God Who Sees and Knows All begins to remind His hurting child that He is also The God Who Heals.

We know the end of the story; Job is blessed with not only total restoration of what he lost, but double.  Scripture doesn't tell us how long Job had to wait to see the final piece put in place.  But it does give us insight into how he endured the process.

"I had heard of You only by the hearing of the ear...but now my spiritual eye sees You." Job 42:5

Like Job, I too was ready to give up on life.  I wasn't suicidal, I was just exhausted---more than ready to put away the tool box and let this restoration project go.  Yet as I yielded to His voice during worship one Sunday, I found the strength and the desire to keep the work going.  

As I sang the words to a favorite song, my spiritual eyes were opened, and not only did I hear those amazing words with my ears but I actually could envision my Lord nodding His head in approval! He was cheering me on, telling me He would indeed be there every step of the way!  No matter how many setbacks, unanswered questions or new mountains we faced, our God was going to be there with whatever we would need to see our marriage experience true healing and restoration.

It's been almost nine years now, and our life is not yet perfect.  We still have days where the work leaves us sore and tired for a while.  So we put aside the tools, sit down in a familiar, comfortable spot together and thank God for what He has already accomplished.  We'll listen to the songs that brought our spiritual eyes their sight, and once again find the courage and the energy to keep working with Him.

Whatever stage of restoration you may find yourself in, don't give up!  God can see the finished project, and He will work right alongside until you see it done as well.

No matter how long it takes.

"...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6

Lessons Learned From A Blind Guy...Or is he?

I have a dear friend who is a gifted musician, singer, and anointed worship leader.
He is 65 years old, single, and has an incredible sense of humor.

And he is blind.

Although he is greatly independent, he still requires help with everyday tasks, such as getting to a store and finding the correct item.  Try this:  close your eyes the next time you stand in front of the entire section of shampoos and grab the one you desire.  No, not the one that's twice as expensive as your brand.  Not the one that will turn your baby fine hair to strings.  Be careful you don't knock over the 74 other bottles the stocker placed 'just so' on the shelf by the way.  See what I mean?

Or have a seat at a brand new restaurant.  You're handed a menu (out of habit on the part of the server, don't judge her) and you are asked "Have you decided?"  Yes, you could just ask for a burger or eggs and bacon to make your order simple for her.  But what if you really wanted something specific, like the Aloha Turkey Burger special your friend told you about yesterday?  Unless you ask for a braille menu which several places do NOT provide, or unless your friend who drove you there reads you the menu....yep, you're getting eggs and bacon.

How about entering a new building for the first time.  Hmmm, now there's a wall---WHACK!---oh yes, my forehead just told me that, because you see the individual who brought me walked away to greet someone on the other side of the room.  We won't mention the doors that led to closets or heaven help him, stairs!

So....walking a mile in his moccasins (or just an aisle or two at Wal Mart!) can stir up your empathy, compassion and patience to say the least.  Or at least it should.

Mind you, my friend with his sense of humor manages to weather such events regularly, even relieving the guilt and embarrassment of the 'guide' he was relying on.  For example, recently he gave me the distinct impression he was in dire need of the restroom while visiting our townhouse for the first time, so I led him to the hall and said "Door on the left!"  He entered and yelled back, "Mary, where's the light switch?!"  Naturally I ran back to the hall in a panic regretting I hadn't turned on the light first for my blind friend......riiiiiight.  He slammed the door in my face, chuckling behind it.

Still, I know there are days when my friend tires of his state.  And he longs for the ability to see what our beautiful granddaughter truly looks like.  He was there at her birth, singing gently as he rocked her.  Or the beautiful grounds of his current residence....would he be inspired to write an anthem of praise to the Creator if he actually saw His handiwork all around him?  Possibly.

But then, he has already written some beautiful songs that have blessed so many.  They speak of the beauty, the majesty, the compassion of a loving Lord.  As his amazing tenor voice swells with the chords on his keyboard, you hear the words "He is the Mender, He will give you Life!" and all of a sudden that hopeless situation is not so hopeless.

'How can this be?' you ask yourself after hearing a blind man sing with all his heart in complete confidence, that yes, Jesus is a Mender of anything broken. 'How can he do that?!'  

Well you see, my friend has something better than physical sight.  He sees with his heart.

His favorite thing to do is grab your hand and say "How's your heart?"  I love watching the reaction of people when he does that.  Especially if they hurriedly answer "Oh, just fine!" .....and he doesn't let go, sometimes asking again "So, how's your heart?"   They may nervously laugh and drop his hand quickly, puzzled at his insight to their hasty answer.  Or more often I see them sigh heavily, and begin to share what's troubling them.  He loves to just start praying right then and there for them, usually resulting in a thankful hug.

Its even more amazing how he can 'describe' a person after shaking their hand and being in the room for only a moment.  "He's such a gentle soul."  "She's so childlike in her spirit, so giving."  Or at times its not so positive.  "Man, that young woman is scary!  She's so dark, so much anger and ugliness." The latter aptly described to the 't' a gal that was full of hatred of men for the abuse she had endured her whole life, struggling with the occult and her face showed it all, even though her voice was sweet as molasses.  My non- sighted friend was completely unaware of all this, yet he 'saw' it just by holding her hand in greeting for the first time.

I've asked God for that same 'heart vision'.  If I truly want to be His representative on planet earth, don't I want to see others as He does?  The old man is abrasive and rude....or is he defending himself because of the abuse and apathy he's received his whole life?   She can't keep her mouth shut, ever! Or is it a cry for attention which really says "I am NOT invisible!  I'm not worthless!  I have something to contribute to this life!"   Like my friend, I need to grab their hand and say "How's your heart, really?" even if its only in my mind prayerfully to myself.  I want to see them as He does.

Something else my so-called sightless friend has taught me is how to maneuver through unfamiliar territory.  In recent years he learned the fine art of using his stick, which is wielded like a ray gun, taking out your shins should you foolishly get in front of the man.  Unlike the gentle tap-tap-tap of the one you may have seen in the movies used to slowly feel their way down a sidewalk, my confident blind buddy whips his fold-out stick in the fashion of a ninja and takes off with or without you!  The end of the tool appears to have radar as he waves it back and forth, up and down, sensing the boundaries the unseen world puts before him.  He really trusts that stick.

Do we trust God to guide us?  Comparing the Almighty to my friends stick is not the issue here....
What is important is what do we put our trust in when things are unseen, unfamiliar, even frightening?   Are we ready to stand up confidently, follow His gentle but firm leading, knowing we may hit a dip or two, but still walking on to our destiny?

I've noticed too, my friend will slowly lead out with his foot, feeling for the curb or step.  If you are his guide for the moment, he asks you to just hold his elbow and gently pull back or prod forward, not DRIVING OR DRAGGING his whole body around the area!

That reminds me of how the Holy Spirit is so patient with me....He's never pushing me or forcing me one way or another.  He simply taps my spirit, waiting for my cooperation in His guidance and we progress.  That is, IF I choose to let Him lead.  (Sadly, I've paid the consequences of NOT listening to Him and found myself doing a faceplant on the asphalt of life, sigh.)

But truly, I think the greatest lesson my friend has shown me through the years is when you're in the dark....really, really in the dark moments of your life, get in the presence of Jesus and worship.

My friend was married to a wonderful woman named Sandee.  She went home to be with the Lord several years ago now, but I can still see her beautiful blue eyes twinkle, as she'd tell her husband to "sing that song, honey, she needs to hear it."  My broken self would lie on their livingroom couch in a puddle and he would begin to play and sing on his shiny black, perfectly tuned baby grand piano.  Old hymns of faith; songs our choir had sung that brought healing to the people so many times, new worship choruses he had written in the middle of the night....song after song.  As the tears washed my pain away, Sandee would eventually come over to the couch and leaning over me with that big smile, she'd say "All better now?  Jesus is good, isn't He?"

To this day, when life has rendered me to feel hopeless, prayerless, and even tearless, I can lay down on the couch, put on my favorite worship and let Him hold my heart, until it can beat in time with His cadence of Truth again.  Oh, and I can hear my friend sing those words....

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face;
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the Light of His glory and grace....

My friend, Dave Dobler, may be physically blind.  But my, oh my, does he see well.


 "You're blessed when you get your inside world--your mind and heart--put right.  Then you can see God in the outside world."  Matthew 5:8 MSG

Put On Your Indiana Jones Hat.....

Something is about to change.
I don't know exactly what, or how, or when.
But I know its coming.
Soon.

Change scares most people, and I've never understood why.  To me, change is an adventure! Its the dawn of something new, fresh and exciting!

As a young housewife, I would delight in rearranging my furniture on a regular basis....say every 6 months or so.  Even though my livingroom didn't consist of much decor, just positioning the couch and recliner in different corners and switching out a picture or two from my bedroom would perk up the whole house.  The kids would come home from school and say "Oooo, Mommy, this is so cool!" and joyfully collapse on the carpet, flipping on the tv as if it was their first time seeing it in color.

It was the same for my classrooms.  As an elementary school teacher, I found great satisfaction in changing my room's theme each year.  Apple Ranch, Carnival, Bible days, Farm, you name it, I did it. Posted lettering, borders, and circle time boards, all new!   It was more work than changing around my sparce livingroom, but what a blast I had.

Some changes can be difficult, but time tends to make them tolerable and even rewarding.

A new department assignment within the company which may include more hours and responsibility but a raise as well. Or, a slow smile on the technichian's face, then the sonogram surprise---twins!

And then there's those other changes.  The ones that make getting out of bed in the morning a major effort.  A change that requires all the courage you can muster just to put that smile on your face the world demands.  A change that makes the smallest noise sound like thunder in your ears, your heart pounding out of your chest and your hands sweat.

Like losing the job you've invested your heart and soul into .....then dismissed after 25 years.

Or the decline physically and mentally of an aged mother who has always been such a strong, independent matriarch of the family.

How about an athletic young father who suffers a traumatic brain injury and is now learning to walk, talk and feed himself again?   And lets not forget his wife....talk about a major life change.

The death of a spouse....and they were the ones who handled the finances and spiritual leadership of your home.  Now what?

Change is inevitable.  It's part of all we do.  It's the process of change that makes life, well life.

Since I've grown older, I now can see the benefit of those changes, both the ones I managed well and the ones that took my breath away and left me wishing I was four again!  Since I've made the choice to embrace change, this is what I've learned.

In order to keep moving forward, to experience the new, fresh season God has placed before me, I must leave the past behind.

 It may require personal sacrifice or a time of real grief.  But its the doorway to that "new" my heart has been longing for. "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5

Another key to embracing change, is to count your blessings and chalk off the losses.

I literally take a sheet of paper, and write down by hand the negatives that occured BEFORE change took place.  Then on the other side of the paper I write the positives, the blessings, and yes, the "this could have happened but it didn't, thank You, Lord!" events BEFORE the life change.  Even if the negatives outweigh the good, if I choose to listen to that still small Voice, He shows me that nothing, I repeat, NOTHING goes unnoticed by Him, and He will use it for my good as His Word says.  "If your Instruction hadn't been my delight, I would have died because of my suffering.  I will never forget Your precepts because through them You have given me life again!" Psalm 119:92 & 93 AMP.

Finally, I do my best to return to my child-like faith in a loving, everfaithful Father.
Admit it, as adults we can often get so weary of setbacks, tired of defending the defeats, etc. that we want to say "FORGET IT.  DON'T WANNA.  STAYING RIGHT HERE.  NO LIFE CHANGE FOR ME, NO THANK YOU!

Then, like a daddy coaxing his toddler out into the big pool for the first time, I feel His strong hands guiding me slowly but surely into the unknown.  I focus on His smile as He encourages me, affirming my every move toward this new thing surrounding me.  And as I relax and begin to follow His commands, I find the pure joy and contentment once again of knowing I'm safe, I'm actually enjoying this, and I'm right where He wanted me to be.  "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plently or in want.  I can do all this (CHANGE!) through Him Who gives me the strength!" Phil. 4:11-13 NIV

So...has life thrown you a curve ball?  Have your circumstances flipped around so drastically that a HUGE change is inevitable for you?  Whatever form it may appear in--- financial, physical, geographical, even spiritual----know this:  when you truly believe that your Heavenly Father has each moment planned for your GOOD, you will find that the change you were dreading, will actually be an incredible adventure.  Imagine that....

YOU,....going on an adventure called Life with the Master Tour Guide. Unlike Dr. Jones, our Hollywood version who found himself lost or facing the unknown, God knows each and every path you've already stumbled on, all those new scary peaks and unwelcome valleys; all those crazy, unexpected detours!

Best of all, He knows what lies ahead of that big change for you ....He's already there.

Let's See Those Scars.....

Everybody gives Thomas a bad rap.

You know...the disciple that insisted on seeing Jesus wounds and even touching them with his own hands.   Jesus not only obliged Thomas and showed him His scars, He even invited him to handle the wounds to make it REAL.  

Why would Jesus, after defeating the enemy once and for all, leave such ugly reminders for all to see?

He was alive, fulfilling every prophecy that was given, proving He was the Messiah, the Christ, God's Son, the Savior of the world.

Yet there He stood with massive holes in His hands and feet, and who knows what the wound in His side looked like.  Obvious, distinct scars. 

I've had my 'Thomas moments'....when God is trying to show me He is alive and working in an area of my life and I just don't quite believe He is reeeeeallly going to come through.  Maybe you haven't been there, but I have. 

And that's when He shows me His scars.

"Mary, I know you think you are feeling the ultimate humiliation right now, but look...remember when I hung on the cross completely naked in front of all those people?"    

My fingers lightly touch His Hands and my bruised ego is instantly healed.  In His presence, man's opinion of me seems irrelevant.

"Mary, I know the sting, the gut-ache of betrayal.  My heart was actually breaking on Golgotha because of it!"

I place my hand on His side gently, as if to attempt to soothe the pain He felt for the many times I

had betrayed Him.

His scars truly served a purpose for Thomas.  And they have shown me many times God's perspective on the trials and self-imposed messes I've created.  

As I have grown in my relationship with the Lord, I find it less and less necessary for Him to 'prove' to me Who He is.  He has been faithful...generous...patient...over and over.  I have experienced the Resurrected Lord in so many ways that it is getting harder and harder to doubt His love for me!  

Now...what about my scars?

Recently my husband and I were given the opportunity to share our story of marriage restoration on an international television program.  It was a process that took over 3 years in the making...all for a 5 minute segment.  Yet we know that many have been encouraged to hope again, to make that second---maybe third or fourth attempt at saving their marriage, in spite of ominous circumstances.

But more importantly, we wanted to hopefully give freedom to those who hold in secret their scars of the past.  We want them to be able to talk about, share and declare that because of what Jesus has done for them, their scars are NOT to be hidden but exposed to all as trophies of His grace and mercy.

Last, we pray our scars will be PROOF to a cynical, frightened world that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.  When they see that we not only survived a fatal wounding to our marriage, but that we can thrive in life together--- physically, emotionally, and spiritually...they will HAVE to account it to only one reason. 

Him.  Jesus and His resurrecting, restoring love.

Are you hiding scars?  Is there someone you could take the burden of shame off of by sharing your story of redemption?  Your testimony is not just history...it's HIS-story.

As I recently read on a favorite website:

"The Lord loves us as is...and He is calling us to share accordingly."

Come on, roll up those sleeves!  Pull back that collar!

Share your scars!   Somebody needs to know about them.

 

 

Transition: Can this be OVER now?

Transition.
So what goes through your mind when you read that word?

My immediate thoughts go to the first time I heard that word transition, as a young mother-to-be.  I was reading my book and came to the part where they described what takes place once the actual labor process had begun.  Some of you may have read that same book....you know, the one that told us labor was all about breathing correctly, and if your partner squeezed your ankle at just the right time you could 'ride' out any contraction.  Right.  (Somewhere after I had dilated to 8, I forgot reading that page and threatened to disembowel anyone who touched me, let alone squeezed my ankle...).

Transition, as defined by the dictionary, is "a passage from one state, subject, or place to another." And another further definition says "an abrupt change in energy state or level".

Change. Passage. Abrupt.  

Scary words perhaps to some who may have a negative perspective on changing, passages, and especially if they are happening ABRUPTLY!!!  Is that you?  Sorry....just putting that last word in caps probably gave you the willies, yeah?

Myself, I love change.

Rearrange the furniture.  Freshen bulletin boards.  From blonde to brown to both.  Instead of a Lesson Plan, go outside.  Add a new unheard-of ingredient to my 40 year-old recipe.

Passages have been a joy for me.

Stay- at- home mommy to part time waitress.  Daily devotions and quiet time to teaching classes to international students and pastors.  Full house to empty-nest and only the two of us.

Abrupt brings to my mind the word surprise.  And I love surprises!  Giving them and getting them!

So why is it, we often have such a hard time during those transitions that our Lord brings to us?

(Well, in the case of child birth, in my opinion, it depends greatly on the teacher of those classes!  If they are honest, upfront, revealing, and don't try to make you believe its as "simple and natural as a tiny flower pushing its way through the soil"....REALLY??!.... then, perhaps you can brace yourself and prepare for it physically, mentally and emotionally.  Maybe.)

But when it comes to those Life Transitions....where God has you waiting for what He has promised you....it is absolutely imperative that one listen carefully and take notes from The Teacher in order to make it to the next level.

For those of you who just said "Oh, I'm not a note-taker, I'll get it!" : may I warn you ever so nicely, that when you are truly in the throes of transition, chances are great that you will NOT be able to recall most of what He brought to you before it hit!  I love what a popular Bible teacher recently said after her divorce and the death of her grown daughter: "When you are in the dark, remember what He said to you in the light."    So get a notebook or use those blank pages in the back of your Bible. Write it down.

And while The Teacher is giving you instruction, maybe you can profit from some of the lessons I have learned---and AM learning---while in transition myself.

DON'T PUSH.

During childbirth, if you start to push during transition it will NOT help the baby be born.  In fact, it can delay it's arrival, due to your swollen cervix that has not fully dilated.

So it is with those dreams, goals and promises.  Don't try to push your way in (or out!); don't force circumstances or contacts or relationships.  Just go one day at a time and let things happen naturally. I admit this is TOUGH, especially if you are a 'do-er' like me, and it 'looks' like nothing is happening!

CHECK YOUR "GOD, YOU SAID..." FILE OFTEN.

On the wallpaper of my phone is the phrase "Lord, You said..."    It is a constant reminder to check my heart for His Word(s) to me.

Sometimes its a video teaching sent to me from a friend as encouragement, and didn't even realize it was the very answer I had prayed for that morning.

Or it could be that song...the one that says EXACTLY what you would say if Jesus was standing right in front of you in your bedroom where you've dropped to the floor in a surrendered heap.

Clippings from devotions you cut out and stuffed in your wallet; prophetic words given directly to you from a man/woman of God;  a memento of a day He met you on your exercise walk that said "I'm here, trust Me."

Go to that file and remind yourself what your Abba Father has said will come, will be yours.

KEEP BUSY DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING NOW.

When my Kindergarteners know it is a special "party day"....I try to fill the day with activity and work leading up to that fun hour.   Even though it was early morning when I told them it would be at the end of the day (an eternity for those 5 year-olds!) they are always pleasantly surprised how fast the time passed!  

So it is in transition.

Read that new book you bought and haven't started yet.   Make coffee dates and dinner plans with friends and family you haven't seen lately.  Splurge on yourself and get a new outfit or pair of shoes, or both!  Spend the weekend out of town.  Watch a movie you think is not your style, but a friend has been bugging you for years to try.  Play golf TWICE in one week!  Find a cause you believe in and get involved, even its only an hour or two a week/month.

If you work outside your home, write down and answer some honest questions for yourself.

Do I contribute the most I possibly can to this place?
Is there something I could change to make things easier for a co-worker or my boss?
If I left this job, would I leave some sort of legacy in my place, or would they do the dance of joy on my exit? (I'm thinking of that monastery scene when Ace Ventura leaves....lol)

Don't get caught in the mindset that because you know something new is coming you figure it is ok to just sit and do the same 'ole, same 'ole.   WRONG.  Fill those empty moments, those unsure days of waiting, waiting, waiting with something.  Time will pass much quicker, I promise.

One of my favorite pastors said recently "Transition is a very difficult, uncomfortable place to be in for this main reason:  you are not 'back there', but neither are you 'there'."   OH MY, OH MY.  That nailed it for me.

Just like giving birth, when you hit transition there is no going back (the baby IS coming) but you don't see or hold that precious bundle as yet either (do I care what it looks like, no! just come OUT!).......So, when I find myself in a Life Transition I will:

....breeeeeathe slowly, taking in His grace and love that brings much-needed strength to my exhausted mind and emotions;

....hone in on the days' focal point that keeps me on task, reminding me its not just about ME, that others can and will be helped even in small ways, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day;

....rest in between 'contractions', those moments when its quiet and I can hear His voice and feel His touch, even when I can't see His face as yet.

Transition.  Whew.  Not a fun place to be.

But oh, the reward.

II Corinthians 2:9   "What no eye has seen, no ear has heard and what no human mind has conceived, the things God has prepared for those who love Him..."

Now THAT'S How to Say Goodbye

In the past year or so I've had to say farewell to some very dear friends as they passed from this life to eternity.

Diane, my friend of over 50 years left unexpectedly.  Just days before her death we had spent a wonderful six days on a road trip to her beautiful home in Oregon.  Now, without warning; a stroke, surgery, life support....then a memorial service.

My other friend, Nana, age 89, was actually family by marriage and a hoot to hang out with.  Her frail body finally gave in to the cancer that had tormented her for much too long.  The last time I visited with her she told me she was tired, and so ready to go to heaven. "I'm pretty sure I'm done here," she said with a smile.

Both had beautiful celebration services.  Yes, I said celebration, because that's exactly what we did at what some still call a 'funeral'. There was music (not those spooky organ tunes either!); lots of laughter and tears as we heard cherished stories about those women we had grown to love so much.  Oh...and let's not forget the incredible food we all ate after saying our final farewells.  More memories shared over tacos, pasta, dessert and coffee.  More laughter, more tears.

God seems to delight in sending me, what I call a 'postcard from heaven' when I need an extra bit of confirmation that what I'm walking through is NOT going unnoticed by Him.

Let me give you an example.  Maybe two.

My friend Diane had an incredible sense of humor. After her service at her hometown's mortuary, the family and guests were invited to a luncheon of her favorite foods in another large room in the building.  Okaaaaaay, I have to admit it felt a bit odd eating tacos just a room away from my friend lying in a satin box.  We voted not to join in the festivities, but did want to say hello to a few folks I hadn't seen in years.

We walked silently through the lobby, pale green walls covered with family portraits and framed acknowledgements. Obviously this mortuary business had been a pillar in the community.  This was confirmed as the "history" of their craft was now proudly displayed in glass cases, lining the hallway to the taco feed.  I swallowed hard and winced at the sight of archaic knives, drills and stitching needles....then I heard laughter.  Yes, it was my daughters who also thought it a strange pathway to the 'fellowship hall'.  But the laughter I heard was that of my friend.  Diane herself was cracking up at this unusual exhibit....and suddenly my sorrow was turning to joy.   If anyone could think of some witty one liners to fit this situation, it would have been Di!  Thanks, God.  That was a good one!

And then He sent a love note as well.   This one was addressed to not only myself, but to our other mutual life long friend, Carmen.

We had chosen to forego the crowded fellowship room and instead went to lunch at Diane's favorite Mexican food hangout.  We were told by family we had plenty of time before the graveside motorcade took place.   However, when we returned to the mortuary, everyone was long gone.

We drove up just as the crowd was dispersing, the myriad of flowers being placed reverently by the caretakers.  When they had finished, they stood quietly for a few seconds---a nice touch compared to the harsh pounding of the backhoe I had experienced so many times before at funerals, ICK.

At first we felt horrible, missing out on the final words spoken over our dear buddy.  We were able to give our condolences to Jim, her husband and Brad, her son as they prepared to leave.  Lots of hugs, tears and words everyone says when you don't know what to say.  And then it was just us.

Marshall said it first.  "You guys get to say goodbye all by yourself."

Carmen wasn't ready to say goodbye.  I didn't want to say goodbye.  Kim wasn't sure what to say period.  So I had her do what I knew she should always do.  Sing.  (Diane loved Kim's voice.  On one of our road trips Kim had serenaded us with some of Di's favoritie hymns, and she joined in with harmony and tears.  Kim thought we were all nuts but we kept her going!)

It was our very own private farewell, just like Marshall said.  The flowers weren't the usual carnations on a stand variety.  Her resting place was enveloped by the most beautiful pots and containers with tropical arrangements I've ever seen.  The rose arrangements were amazing---a huge cascade boasted my favorite large yellow roses, one of which I tucked in my purse.  In the stillness of the moment, we stood on holy ground as my daughter softly sang "It Is Well".  

Thanks, Lord, for that.  For giving two grieving friends laughter AND healing tears, to let us know You are well aware of our broken hearts.

Now that's the way to say goodbye.  For now.

Still the Same

It is 1:45 am on a Friday night....wait, make that Saturday, right?

I thought I was ready for bed but felt You calling me to 'come away'.  Next thing I know I'm here on the office couch searching Your pages for the 'why'.

My eyes keep going back to Hebrews 13:8.

It seems to be sandwiched between tons of exhortation about honoring, respecting, listening to and obeying those who've gone before.  I thought it strange at first how such a profound declaration of YOU is popped in there at that instructive, very practical passage by the author.  Kind of like a commercial during an intense climatic scene in a movie I'm viewing!

But there it is.

"Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and forever."

How many times did I read that while sitting in church growing up?  Thousands, no doubt, thousands of times!  As a child, I would look past the pastor, up above his head on the wall behind him were those carved wooden letters, and I would copy each word on the church bulletin practicing my cursive. As a teenager I would doodle it over and over on my notepad to make the service time go faster.As a young adult I recall the feeling of safety and comraderie, seeing it blazened across various church platforms, reminding me "this is where I can trust what I hear, what I see---this is where I belong."

Even as I just wrote that last paragraph You began to make it clear to me.

That IS why its "sandwiched"  between all those reminders.  Reminders of those who have gone before me and instilled in me the faith, the love , the hope I have in You.  Its why I can say with confidence  "Jesus, You ARE the same yesterday, today and forever!"

Mom, Brother Underwood, Sister Morris, Brother Hood, Effie Slagle, Pastor Bob Jones, Pastor Martin, Jerry Butler, Bill Horton and so many more who spoke into my life one way or the other by word and example, that "Jesus Christ, You are the same, yesterday, today and forever!"

Now its men and women like Dr. Harold Dewberry, Joseph Prince, James Robison, Beth Moore, Pastor Steve Miller, T.D.Jakes, Jim Cymbala, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, and of course Jack Hayford.  Their passion for Your Word and for Your people to know that simple yet profound truth keeps me on task, believing what YOU SAID.

In Your Word, You healed all who believed yesterrday.  Even some who needed 'help' with their unbelief.

In Your Word, You gave specific timely direction and guidance to those who cried out for it.

In Your Word, You forgave and began restoring, even while they were still in the muck and mire of the pigpen.

That was Yesterday.

You are still doing it.  TODAY.

And You'll never stop.   Ever.  FOREVER.

Because its not just what You do.

Its WHO You are.

The I AM....of Yesterday, of our Todays, and for Forever.

Jesus Christ, You are the Same.